Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Drunk is a universal language darling
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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