And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
