It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
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