So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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