the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
