I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize