you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize