if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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