I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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