Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
