I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I want her autograph on my taint
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
