I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
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