I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
40s are totally the cure
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
