I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You have to summon your inner elephant
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
