Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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