just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
