Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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