How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
