a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize