i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
