The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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