Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
