I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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