jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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