Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
