Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I think your dad took our porno
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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