from now on my penis is your penis
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
