he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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