i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
