At least make sure they are 18
Why
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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