She is in my trunk
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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