am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
