I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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