You really coming over, don't trick.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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