found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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