Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
