Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I have post one night stand depression
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize