i may or may not be watching the land before time
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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