I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Is it penis luge time yet?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Randomize
