He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
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Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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