i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize