All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
