The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
