You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
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He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
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I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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