Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize