whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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