I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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