Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
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