Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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