Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I think pants incapable of making pants work
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
