omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
