I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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