so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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