Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
