I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Randomize
