Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
