We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
