We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Randomize
