If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
