I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
